As the latest reality TV show on the block “Online Dating Rituals of the American Male” shows us, finding romance in the age of the internet can be an endeavor with enough twists and turns as an to rival an M. Night Shyamalan movie.
But as challenging as it was for the two American men who let Bravo TV’s cameras document their time trolling dating websites looking for love with American women, it can be even more difficult for men who are looking to date women who don’t share their nationality or their racial background.
Asian online dating can add dimensions that both enrich and complicate romantic relationships. And of course it only gets tougher when a guy is trying to initiate a relationship with a woman who might hail from Thailand, Korea or China, locales that are a far cry from the American Midwest or South.
When you’re connecting with an Asian woman you’re interested in through the online dating services, you have a much smaller window than you normally would to make a good impression on her. Everything can hang on a well-placed status update, clever DM or poorly worded text message. To make the most of your attempts to build a digital romantic connection with someone who lives miles, and thus worlds, away from you, check out our tips on three pitfalls you should absolutely seek to avoid.
Error #1. Being self-aware
Culture, in this case our ways of doing things, seeing the world and understanding ourselves, is like air: it’s invisible and it’s everywhere. If you grew up in France, the UK, Germany or the United States there are certain things like eat, watching the Superbowl or going to Mass on Easter Sunday that are so normal to you that you and most people who share your cultural background that you don’t even think about them.
Unless the Chinese, Korean or Philippine woman you’re courting online has spent time living in your country of origin, they might not be normal for her. It’s important to recognize and appreciate that. You can avoid potential blunders by accepting that your worldview and upbringing are just one of millions in a world of 7 billion people.
Meet your Asian romantic interest halfway by being willing to consider perspectives and experiences that are different from your own, which her worldview and life experience likely will be.
Error #2. Considering Asian online dating as way to access fast sex
Perhaps the number one complaint amongst eligible bachelorettes looking for love online regardless of their nationality is that men can be a little too assertive in their pursuit of sexual and no strings attached relationships to the point of being creepy. If you view online dating as a way to access quick and easy sex, online dating might not be for you.
Our advice is slow down and focus on getting to know your Asian girl. If you are looking for a romantic Asian match online, the best way is always to politely express your genuine interest in who she is and the interests or experiences that you both share. If you’re not genuinely interested in whom she is then it’s a lot easier to just move on until you find someone whose character appeals to you just as much as her physical appearance does.
Error #3. Fetishizing her
If you’re seeking to date a “docile Chinese woman” or a “hot Thai girl,” keep looking. Even if you’ve never met in person, a woman can smell a fetish a mile away and will probably stop communicating with you immediately because of it.
Just as all French or American men don’t look or act the same just because they’re French and American, all Chinese or Korean women aren’t exactly the same just because they hail from the same country. Avoid making comments about her nationality or race especially if you haven’t spent a significant amount of time around people who share her cultural background. Appreciate that she’s a unique person with her own quirks and personal history and go from there.