Dating any woman is likely to be challenging, and add in cultural differences if you aren’t Japanese, and you’ve got a real journey to navigate.
But you can’t just assume that everything about the Japanese lady you are interested in is culturally motivated. Every person has their own unique personality, and a quirk you’ve noticed may simply be the lady’s personality.
So what do you need to know about Japanese women to help ensure your dating life is a success, and that when you meet Ms Right, you can make the relationship a successful one?
I’ve got all the information you need right here.
Reasons Why You Can Trust Krystyna
- Faithfully reviewed over 500 International online dating and matchmaking services
- A highly experienced International dating expert since 2010
- Master of Language and Cultural Studies / Goethe University Frankfurt
- Author of dating ebooks, including ‘International Dating Digest For Men: Finding Love Overseas’.
- She has contributed in many publications including Notsalmon.com, Marriage.com, or Medium.com.
What Do I Need to Know About Dating Japanese Women?
When dating a Japanese woman, here’s what you need to know:
- Group dating, called goukon, is common until you and your lady love are ready to get serious. Hanging out with a group of friends isn’t a bad thing. It helps alleviate the pressure you’d feel if it were only the two of you, and now you can chill while getting to know your love interest.
- PDA isn’t really a thing in Japan, so expect displays of affection to happen out of the public eye. A Japanese woman raised elsewhere may be more “American” regarding PDA.
- Saying “I love you” may come earlier in the relationship than what you’d think or are used to. In Japanese culture, a confession of interest or love (called kokuhaku) starts your dating relationship. This way, the person knows you are definitely interested.
- Your Japanese partner may feel more comfortable with subtle non-verbal expressions of love than direct physical contact.
- Japanese women are busy and independent.
- They like dates to be planned and organized, so don’t wing it.
What Is It Like Dating a Japanese Woman?
It is difficult to say exactly what dating a Japanese woman will be like because I don’t want to stereotype women, Japanese women, or their culture. Plus, every person is different in what they believe, how they were raised, and the life experiences that shaped who they are now.
Dating a Japanese woman who has lived in Japan her whole life versus dating a Japanese woman who is a second or third generation American would also be very different.
The American-born or raised Japanese lady may have been raised according to strict Japanese values and beliefs, making her more “Japanese” (if we can call it that). However, if an American-born or raised Japanese woman was raised more “American,” it may make dating more like you are used to (if you are a foreigner).
Japanese women value dates such as White Day and Valentine's day when couples express their love and show appreciation. Ladies tend to shy away from controversial topics such as politics, crime, and drugs. However, they are chatty and want you to be a good listener. They let you talk about yourself as a foreigner before opening up to you hence you need to be patient with them.
In general, traditional Japanese women:
- Don’t check their phone during work hours, and may only reply to your love messages after hours
- Prefer to let you know to expect a call
- Won’t expect you to see them home after the date or pick them up at home; it’s more commonplace to meet at the station or date destination
- May not be keen to go on a double date
- Don’t agree that “your friends are my friends”
- Will want you to be subtle about your affections, and keep PDA for behind closed doors
- Wouldn’t want to trouble you so may be reluctant to speak their mind
- Take privacy seriously - yours and theirs
- Are organized, so expects you to plan the date and let her know beforehand “the when, how long, and where” of the date
- Are honest
Difficulties & Challenges of Dating Women From Japan
Every relationship and dating journey has its share of difficulties.
While dating a woman from Japan may increase the challenges, that may also not be the case if you truly connect. Perhaps, your issues will be surface level stuff that can be sorted out with a few conversations and an open mind.
In general, there may only be two main points as obstacles:
The culture. That is your culture and your soulmate’s culture.
To navigate the culture differences, you both need to communicate and see things from each other’s point of view. You need to compromise so you can meet in the middle and be on the same page going forward.
The language. Again, this is the language you speak and her Japanese.
If your native and main language is English and your love interest only speaks Japanese, I bet you can imagine how difficult things will be. And if you are learning Japanese, there will be a lot of misunderstandings from both sides.
If your Japanese lady speaks English fluently and it’s your native tongue, then things will go smoother (but even people who speak the same language have disagreements).
Selecting a Japanese Online Dating Site - Do Your Research and Be Aware of Scams
You will know whether you really want to date a Japanese woman, and if you are sure, then selecting a Japanese online dating site is the next step.
Don’t just sign up and share your personal information with any site you can find.
Research to find a legit site will save you heartache, time, and money.
Next, you should also beware of romance scams. While reputable and legitimate dating platforms try their best to ensure no scammer makes it onto their site, the truth is that scammers are getting smarter and smarter. And sometimes one of these scammers do make their way onto a Japanese dating site.
If things with your love interest seem too good to be true, chances are it is too good to be true. Make sure you protect your personal information, and report any suspicious activity.
Top Dating Apps to Meet and Date a Japanese Woman Online (Not Tinder)
Ready to meet the Japanese love of your life?
Here are the best international Japanese dating platforms and apps I’d recommend you try:
JapanCupid.com
Japancupid.com calls itself a “premium international dating site” that’s been in the biz since 2005 (read our review: JapanCupid Review 2022: Worth your money?). This is the place where you can meet Japanese singles if you want a date or if you are looking for your Japanese soulmate.
You can find your match whether you are Japanese, Asian, Western, or from somewhere else.
Top Services from Japancupid.com
- Can comment on a photo
- Can get your profile translated into another language
- Add CupidTags to your profile to help you appear in the search results
At no cost, you can sign up, create your profile, search and browse, get basic matching, add profiles to a favorite list, and more on Japancupid.com.
If you want to access the message feature, live chat, rank above “free” members, get more space to talk about yourself in your profile, and have exclusive search features, then you need to sign up for the Gold or Platinum membership.
Gold membership:
- 1 month - US$29.98
- 3 months - US$50.99 (so US$16.99 per month)
- 12 months - US$119.98 (so US$9.99 per month)
Platinum membership:
- 1 month - US$34.99
- 3 months - US$69.98 (so US$23.33 per month)
- 12 months - US$149.99 (so US$12.99 per month)
What We Like About the Site
- Mobile app available from the Google Play Store
- Has resources on dating safety , from getting started to first meetings and scam & spam
- Available in 18 languages, from English, French, and Dutch to Japanese, Chinese, and Russian
- No irritating pop-up ads
- A fraud prevention team to remove fake profiles (which you can report via the company’s customer service)
YYC dating app
YYC is an old hand in the dating niche. The company has been operating for 22 years and still refers to itself as the largest dating service in Japan. The site is only available in Japanese, so hire a translator if you don’t speak the language, and if you do, then yay!
Top Services from YYC dating app
- Geolocation feature so members in your vicinity are displayed (makes meeting up a lot easier)
- Paid priority listing
- Can report spam and fake profiles
YYC offers a subscription plan, and unfortunately, there is no free trial.
When you sign up, you get 300 points that you can use to search, meet, and match.
A 30-day subscription costs US$45, and you can pay with your credit card.
The fee will be deducted monthly until you opt out and cancel your subscription with YYC. Choose to deactivate your profile, which hides it, or you can close your account and delete your profile.
What We Like About the Site
- Need to confirm your email address when signing up
- A moderator approves photos before they are shown on profiles (ensures that there are no cartoon or celebrity images)
- Data on the site is sent through an SSL connection, so messages can’t really be intercepted
- Mobile apps on the App store and Google Play store
- Easy registration
Putting It Together: Learn About Japanese Dating Culture to Be Successful
Learning Japanese (or hiring a translator while you learn) and getting to know Japanese culture will most definitely help you be successful when dating and marrying the Japanese girl of your dreams.
But remember, each person is unique, so put in the effort to get to know your soulmate, be authentic, keep communication open, and meet all the other best practices for relationship success.
Last Update: April 5, 2022
Hey there! 🙂 Krystyna here. Welcome to Asian Dating Journal!
Writing on International dating, romance scams and relationships so you don’t have to feel alone on your Asian / foreign dating journey.
Krystyna is a dating blogger and coach that focuses on helping Western men to connect with foreign women. In her guides, she speaks from her own experiences and gives field-tested tips & hacks.
Need dating coaching? Check here: www.krioda.com
